When One Child is Away from Home

Today when I woke up, I had my coffee and devotion time as usual. I moved about my morning routine but there was something that just didn't feel right. My heart was sad and my arms were missing someone...

My early riser spent the night at Grandma's. I didn't get to hear about his dreams or feel his little hugs or smell that nasty dragon breath...and I missed him so much. I still do. There's a missing chord to the harmony of the chaos in my home and I can't wait to hug him later tonight.

It made me think of God and His children...sometimes we don't talk to Him, we don't share our dreams, we don't climb up in His lap and blast him with our dragon breath full of pain, anger, or sin...and He misses us.

My Journey

Sometimes after years of walking down this road of life...the dark and lonely journey through the forest...the moments in the meadow along the path...the mountains climbed...the valleys where your soul was restored...the nights walking beside the river of tears...

God will bring up a long lost dream. "Remember this? You still want this. Turn here."

It looks too good to be true and the path is steep and rocky but that speck on the horizon...that place that you've never been but is calling your name is just right there...you can see it. You can imagine yourself there but you can't see the whole road...part of it is covered by the mist of the mountain and the other part looks impassable.

And again He whispers, "Turn, my beloved..take my hand..."

A Lesson in Patience

 

Ellie desperately wanted the window in my room open. She was trying very hard and getting rather upset. I tried to help and in typical toddler fashion she yelled at me to "top it! Go way." She was so sure that I wasn't going to let her open it that she fought me with all that stubborn passion that is my Ellie.

"Honey, you need to move so I can do this for you." I said it but then I heard Him echo it back to me as I opened the window and helped my little girl reach her goal.

How many times have I thrown a toddler tantrum when He was trying to get the job done, how many times did I get angry at His "interference" as I approached my goal?

I'm a doer, a doer who does it all by myself. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to get out of the way and let Him get the job done.

Frugal Friday

Yeah, I'm jumping on the alliteration wagon that is so common among bloggers. ;)

Frugal Fridays are going to have a post about the frugal things that I have done this week. There are a lot of things that I do that I don't realize are frugal until I mention them to someone else. I am a cheapskate by nature so some things just come to me by instinct. Frugal Fridays will help me to pause and reflect on my habits and maybe they will be able to bless someone else. :)

FRUGAL FOOD
This week we spent $65 on groceries and house stuff. That was mostly dairy and produce. We did buy some ice cream and two bags of chips. The kids love that we have an Aldi so mom can buy the fake doritos or sunchips there without blowing the budget. Our normal budget is $125 per week and includes all of the household stuff and medicine plus diapers and animal food.

I learned how to make a Vanilla Chai Frappe this week, I'll post the recipe next week. It's our new favorite fancy drink.

We made peach tea with the leftover peach syrup from our homecanned peaches. The kids love it. We've been focusing on drinking more water and herbal tea instead of dairy and juice for healthier and cheaper living. ;)

All of our leftovers became lunches for my husband.

I planned to use a venison roast as two meals. We had it for dinner with potatoes and carrots on Sunday night and then for dinner as a venison and barley soup with herbed biscuits on Thursday. I am working on perfecting my herb biscuits. They are almost as good as the cheddar biscuits at Ruby Tuesdays and they have no shortening and are half whole wheat.
 
I made homemade burger buns and french fries to go with our burgers this week instead of purchasing them ready made.

Frugal Cleaning

We use homemade laundry soap on a regular basis and I use bounce dryer sheets unscented cut in half for our anti-static needs. We used to use a bounce bar but I've found that they are not lasting nearly as long as they used to so we switched back to sheets.

I don't use paper towel or paper napkins. I have rags that can be rewashed or thrown out if needed and washable cloth napkins that get tossed in with our towels. We did use my stock of paper plates this week because I have been fighting a cold/sinus issue and standing up hurt.

I am a huge fan of Shaklee Basic H2 for All purpose spray, degreaser, and window wash. It lasts forever. I've had that bottle since NOVEMBER and use it all the time!! This week I ran out of dishsoap and just didn't have the time to get to the store so I did some googling (FROOGLE moment!) and discovered that you can use Basic H2 for dishwashing. I used about a half teaspoon per sinkfull of water and it works at least as well as the cheap dishsoap. I do love the New Dawn Platinum Power Clean soap but it's best saved for the really tough messes. That stuff is not cheap. I went through one bottle in about 6 weeks. Next month, I'm trying out the Shaklee dishwash and I'll let you know what I think.

We use good ol' hydrogen peroxide to clean the toilet and sinks in our bathroom. I sometimes use bleach but I have an allergy so hydrogen peroxide is my chemical of choice.

Frugal Fun

We spent a lot of time this week playing with scrap lumber and cardboard. My kids can be so creative.

Our "tv" time came from Hulu this week. I watched a couple of episodes of Bath Crashers while I was playing with yarn. We don't have the Hulu plus subscription at this time but I am thinking about it.

We were finally able to get out of the house and walk this week. We went to the library for some fun books on our current studies in reptiles and colonial life.

Frugal Hubby
We're also saving quite a bit this week on car repair, thanks to my husband's ability to fix things. Our bearings need to be replaced and doing it himself will save us at least five hundred dollars. :)


Have a blessed weekend!

Sometimes life just has to happen

Sometimes you suffer from daylight savings time jetlag...

Sometimes your house needs your attention...

Sometimes your kids get sick...

Sometimes your nephew has extensive surgery to repair his cleft lip and your sister is going through something that you've never experienced before and all you can do is pray...

Sometimes your preschooler kills your keyboard with YOUR giant glass of water...

Sometimes you feel like your head is gonna explode because your sixth grader is doing math that you haven't done in a couple of decades...

Sometimes your toddler removes her poopy diaper and all you can do is laugh and be thankful that your floor already looks like poo...

and blogging just needs to take the back burner for a few days.


I stole the kids' keyboard and I'm hiding in my room at this very moment. I missed writing and getting all of the swirling thoughts out of my head and out where I can see them and make sense of them. Some of us think better when we write it all out.

I've had a lot of deep thoughts and ideas swirling lately...

Is the plan that I know God has written out for me working? Yes. There is no fast track to where He wants me to be. I need to trust Him and tell the lies swirling in my head to take a hike.

Are we living life too slow in a lightning speed world? No, this pace is the pace that we thrive in. We don't have to run as fast as the Joneses. I have time to take care of people at this pace. It wouldn't be possible if our life was faster.

 Jesus really does love me for me.

And some not so deep ones...

I want new curtains in my dining room. Something light and colorful to replace the blue that has been there for ages.

We're only buying milk and produce this weekend for groceries because I did a massive stock up last week.

I want winter to end. This has been the longest winter in Michigan that I can remember. I am ready for the snowpants and snowboots to be put away. I have even complained to my sister. I was whining and saying that this season will never end. She reminded me of Genesis and God's promises. I'm holding on to this particular promise in a full-on-toddler-on-parent-leg-death-grip on this 21 degree March day.

 In case you were wondering, that's not the ocean. That's what farmland looks like through the fog in southern Michigan at sunrise while you're cruising down the road running late for church on Daylight Saving Sunday. :)

Leftover Pork Roast Papusa

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am a lover of Latin American foods. My favorite comfort food of all time is the humble tamal. I have always been intimidated by the thought of making tamales though because most of the recipes that I find are very intensive and make over fifty tamales.

While on pinterest the other day, I discovered something called a Papusa. It's kind of like the fast food version of a tamal. Instead of being steamed in a corn husk, papusas are lightly fried in a pan kind of like a pancake.

 A skillet full of chopped pork roast with one chopped chipotle chile in adobo, chili powder, cumin, garlic, and salt. It was spicy in the pan and that's good when you are going to encase it in masa.

 I used equal parts of water and masa with garlic powder and salt to taste. Let it set for ten minutes or so.

 Roll it into an egg sized ball. (It should feel like playdoh but with a bit more texture to it.)

Shape into a bowl and fill with cooked pork. You can also fill these with beans or cheese or anything that sounds yummy to you.

 Pinch the edges over the filling until you can no longer see any of the stuffing.









 Play Pat-A-Cake.  You want them to be less than half an inch thick. If the filling starts to leak out just pinch off a bit from the edges or form the bowl and cover it up.

 These are ready to be fried and waiting on a piece of parchment paper so I don't have to clean a pan...I'm lazy like that. Wax paper would work and I will use that next time because it is way cheaper.

 We put a drizzle of coconut oil in our pan over medium high heat. Cook each side of the papusas for about 3 minutes.

I actually like them more than tamales!!

I wanted to make a curtida (cabbage and vinegar slaw) to go with them but I was distracted by my other kitchen projects so that will have to wait for another day. We had them with sour cream, cheese, salsa and rotel. We also had peaches on the side because I don't like having a meal that is only protein and carbs.

Isn't it lovely? :D

Your spouse is NOT your soul mate.

There's a common thought in today's me centered Christianity. It says that in order to be whole one must be married. It's a bunch of bull. God created us for HIM. Not for some guy/girl to love. Sure, He ordained marriage. It's a precious gift but it is NOT the final destination of every "good" Christian.

I know that this post is going to shock some people, especially those who know our love story. My farm boy is everything that I wished for in a man. I prayed for him. I wrote my dreams of him in a notebook and one day when I was just barely seventeen God pointed him out and said, "This one." Yeah. Sometimes you live a fairy tale in real life. I am a very blessed and content and most of the time happy wife.

But we didn't live happily ever after.

We're still married. We still love each other. We are the best of friends in the history of friendship and he still makes my heart flutter like a swarm of hummingbirds after sweet nectar.

But Happily EVER?.
 NO.

We've been married for almost 14 years now and some of those years have been the LONELIEST of my life.

"Say what?"

Marriage involves two very imperfect people. These people choose EVERY day to love their spouse, to respect them, to honor them. ESPECIALLY when they don't deserve it. That's what makes a marriage a lasting one. Every day decisions to do the hard things. Let's see Disney make a movie about that one. ;)

No person is capable of meeting ALL of the needs of another. We are simply too imperfect. No matter how hard he tries, my husband is not capable of romancing me and loving me the way that I want and need to be loved. I am NOT capable of fulfilling all of his needs. The best that we can do is try. It's fun to try sometimes ;) but sometimes it's a grueling process and we end up feeling used or neglected. Sometimes marriage is HARD, harder than we ever expected. Harder than we are told because our society is all about GETTING married and they really don't care about STAYING married...but that's another post. ;)



But don't let me take away your soul's longing for romance, for dreaming, for that empty place to be filled. God created your soul to long for, to crave, and to desire Him. That lonely empty feeling will only leave when you put your complete faith and trust in your TRUE soul mate and stop trying to fill that space with ANYTHING OR ANYONE else.

The Bible is FULL of references of finding your soulmate, longing for His love and His protection.  

Psalm 84:1
How lovely is your dwelling place,
    Lord Almighty!
² My soul yearns, even faints,
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
    for the living God.


For your Maker is your bridegroom,
    his name, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel,
    known as God of the whole earth.
(From Isaiah 54 in The Message) 

Isaiah 61:10 NIV
I delight greatly in the Lord;
    my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. 





 As a woman, I want to be pursued. I want to be desired for who I am, not what I look like or what skills I possess. I want that white knight in shining armor to come and save me. And you know what? He did.

John 3:16

The Message (MSG)

^16-18 “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.


He loves me for who I am, in spite of my shortcomings and my failures. He rescues me DAILY from a life that could enslave me. He inspired men to write a book full of love letters JUST FOR ME and for you. He knows every single detail about me and who I am and He still loves me unconditionally. He was willing to die for me, even if I was the only person on earth. I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is MINE. He is my soul mate. He completes us in ways that no earthling can because He created us for one purpose: to love Him.

All Things New

As I sit down to type this, the toddler has fallen off of something for the seventeenth time today and I am NOT exaggerating. She falls off something at least three times an hour right now...the whole learning not to climb process is taking a bit longer than it should.

She's a lot like her mama.

I've lost count of the times that I've fallen...

times that I've failed...

times that I've given up on everyone including me...

times that I didn't want to...

times when nothing could have helped me get closer to my goals.

In the world of the web, you only see the pretty. You don't see much real. You don't see the cracks in the facade of life because they've been photoshopped out.

I'm going to take a moment and just be real. This place we live in. It's not a nice house. It's not pretty and it is so far from perfect that the definition might as well be in a book by Dr. Seuss. The pictures in this post showcase the imperfections that are part of our home.

Our bathroom floor

I'm not perfect. I'm currently just shy of weighing 230 pounds and I'm just 5'8". I don't always shave my legs and those who know me well will tell you that I don't bother when it's less than 80 degrees outside. Heck, some days I forget to brush my teeth. I occasionally lose an entire day to pinterest and facebook. I yell. Loudly. And I sometimes stupidly hit large objects like the dining room table because I am mad at my oldest son. Way to be a grown up, right?

My dining room wall

My kids sometimes (most of the time) seem to hate each other. I had to stop typing because one of them was trying to smother the other with a couch cushion. Honest.







My husband is quick to blame my hormones for my bad days and he's normally right which is even more infuriating. ;)

My dogs make messes. Every.single.night. They get something else out of the trash and leave it on the laundry room floor.


But in all of this imperfection, all of this chaos, we are making progress.

Hubby and I are awake every day by 5:30. He's up sooner because that amazing handsome sexy man of mine starts the coffee pot right before he hops into the shower and then he makes me the perfect cup of coffee and brings it to me while I am still IN BED every day. I am a night owl by nature. I'm still amazed at this change in our lives.

I started the Made to Crave journey with a group of girls from church. My world changed when I realized that food was my idol. I was a glutton but I have been set free. I was slothful and lazy but He's working on that too. I now exercise right after that first cup of coffee, four or five times a week, every week when I don't want to. I'd much rather play Candy Crush.

one of the many cracked ceilings

I'm down two pant sizes, one cup size (yahooo!!) and 26 pounds and God gets all the glory because there's no diet involved in my life. I've learned to be content with my portion and to add a 15-20 minute timeframe to my morning to rock out to worship music in my laundry room...in my pjs...right after I let the dogs out and start a load of laundry. Glamorous, I know. Sometimes I'm not interrupted by a crying child or barking dogs. Sometimes. ;)

I'm on a new journey now. The girls and I have started Unglued by Lysa Terkheurst. I'm learning a lot about who I don't want to be anymore. That yelling, screaming, hitting giant objects person... Yeah, I'm not her anymore.

another broken wall

I was made for more than just surviving.
I know that I serve the God-who-sees (El Roi, Genesis 16:13) who not only sees my imperfection and my trials but He has a plan and a purpose for ME.

the bathroom door

It's time for my family to thrive. Check out Casting Crowns new song "Thrive." It's my new theme song for the year.

63 days School and Game declutter

Yet another fun day of decluttering...don't you just love how excited I sound? ;)

Our homeschool year is coming to an end. We school through the summer so that we can be done by Thanksgiving and take off the entire month of December and part of January.

I sorted through the kids totes, the mom school tote, and all of our board games. Several were missing enough pieces to be thrown away. It's a good thing that most of them are on sale on Black Friday. By the way, the Black Friday sales are being "leaked" strategically  by stores now so if you are one of those crazy people who shops  with mass amounts of crazy people for crazy good deals then you might want to do some googling and game planning. ;)

Knitting Update

 As promised (so long ago that I nearly forgot) here are a few of my knitting projects. I truly do love knitting, it's very therapeutic for me and I adore creating things whilst sitting on my behind. ;) You can find me on Ravelry.

The ugly washcloths that started it all.

Easter Eggs

I made 14 of these for a friend while we were driving to visit the Creation Museum this spring.

A few of my favorite things

Camouflage bibs for my hunting cousin's new baby

Scarves

This is how you knit with a little one ;)

Random bibs for my baby shower stash

And my latest finished projects, Bibs for my Trekkie Friend. I love them. I even offered to keep them if she didn't want them. ;)

I am currently working on a special gift for my mom. It's pretty time intensive but I'll share when I am finished. :) I may have to stop to make a few baby things along the way though as I am going to be an aunt TWICE again this year. EXCITING!!

Meals on Purpose (Menu 6/22-6/28)

After a lovely date with my husband, that in part was like a yearly review from my supervisor,  I have a new perspective on life. I have always been a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl...it's hard to do that when you have four kids and don't sleep for more than four hours at a time, thanks to the Empress. I was a stressed out hot mess. The cute coffee delivery guy doesn't like seeing me stressed and he put down some ground rules that I am trying to follow. (The rules were just his ideas to help, he is not an ogre though he does occasionally remind me of Shrek.) One of them is that I care about the kitchen again, I've been avoiding it because that's where we keep the dirty dishes...

 I realized what part of my problem was as we were sitting in Olive Garden for the first time in over a year. There was so much MORE to the meal than the food. Soft lighting, quiet music, a pretty table, cloth napkins, and actual conversation.

LIGHT-BULB MOMENT!

Our meals and sitting down to eat them need to be a priority and on purpose. We NEED to stop going out to eat so much and I need to stop eating everything in sight! ;) I am trying not to be a glutton. When you love food as much as I do that's HARD!! My new rules for eating but not being controlled by food are pretty simple.

1. One cup of coffee a day. That's half of what I think I "need." Don't worry the tea isn't going anywhere yet.
2. One serving per meal. Suddenly having sides at a meal is important again because that serving of casserole isn't enough!
3. One dessert every other day. They are worth the wait and should feel special NOT mandatory.
4. No snacks, except on Sunday morning in between services because we are at church from 8:30am until 1pm.
5. No eating after 8pm. Bye bye late night snacking. Oh, that's sooo hard for me!!
6. Eat at the table with the family whenever physically possible.
7. Take a bite and enjoy it, every single time. Do not just shovel it in to fill some black hole in my gullet! I actually take a bite and put down my fork and chew slowly. Yes, I feel weird, yes my kids make fun of me. Yes, I did have to sit on my hands last night instead of eating like a farm hand...I'm learning.

This is how menu planning looks at my house. :)

Breakfast (fruit on the side and milk to drink)
PB oatmeal
Toad in a hole (egg cooked inside a piece of toast)
Boiled Eggs, english muffin
Apple Pancakes
Frittata Muffins
Cornmeal mush, sausage links

Lunch
Boiled eggs, celery with dip, grapes
fruit and granola yogurt parfait
Apples and peanut butter "nachos"
cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches and strawberries with maple yogurt sauce
Ramen (my kids are STOKED for fridays lunch! lol!!)
Grilled cheese and tomato soup
Dump Chicken in the crockpot over rice (This was Sunday's meal and I forgot what I threw into the chicken...peppers, onions, curry, garlic, and jam I think?)

Dinner
Smoked Sausage with onion and pepper over cauliflower garlic rice
BBQ pork sandwiches, corn
Sweet n Sour Not Meatballs over rice (My meatballs totally fell apart!)
Dinner at the in laws! (no cooking but no air conditioning there either...)
BLT with optional avocado spread and carmelized brussel sprouts
Ravioli with marinated tomatoes and creamed spinach (my birthday meal)
Hawaiian Burgers and grilled butternut squash

Desserts
Kettle Corn
Nutella Mouse with strawberries
Nutella pudding (I kinda love nutella!)
something else...haven't decided yet! 

  So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

Babysteps in raising responsible children

I'm the mom who takes on ALL the jobs. I don't feed the animals or take out the trash but I do just about all of the other in the house jobs.

BUT I am changing that. I'm too busy chasing an almost toddler, cooking nearly nonstop for these cute bottomless pits, and breaking up fights to do much else than the very basics. You know that I don't like to clean, so things tend to build up. It's not pretty.

This week I am forcing myself to delegate. The ten year old is now required to wash one load of dishes daily. Just one little load, it feels soooooo nice to not have to wash those dishes! The seven year old has to rinse that load of dishes and all of the dishes that I wash. The five year old is now in charge of cleaning up the recycling overflow.

I'm planning on adding a small chore each week until we are all even and the house is staying nice on a regular basis. It's already not as stressful as it was last week.

I'm also working on my attitude towards the chores. They are not a punishment but they are necessary for my house to become a home and not a hovel. I am doing my own version of flylady and doing little bits each day. On the days that the Empress (the almost toddler) doesn't allow me to do much but hold her, I have decided to work on my couponing, reasearch, and menu planning. She likes to sit at the computer so it's like multi-tasking, even if I do end up looking at cute animals to make her laugh.

 Hopefully, working TOGETHER will allow us to have more fun times like this. I really do love hanging with my crew.

Vacation 2013

Here are some pictures of our vacation. Our trip to the Creation Museum and Newport Aquarium was definitely a success. We had a LOT of fun, learned some new things, and I knit up several washcloths during the five hour drive there and back.

They were really this color!

We're in a clear tube that goes through the tank, that ray swam over our heads!

Petting sharks!!!!!

hanging out inside the shark tank bubble window

 

Tell me that you don't feel like this occasionally!

This guy was great, his beard was so soft!

I love that little boy!

Zedonk/Zonkey