Your spouse is NOT your soul mate.

There's a common thought in today's me centered Christianity. It says that in order to be whole one must be married. It's a bunch of bull. God created us for HIM. Not for some guy/girl to love. Sure, He ordained marriage. It's a precious gift but it is NOT the final destination of every "good" Christian.

I know that this post is going to shock some people, especially those who know our love story. My farm boy is everything that I wished for in a man. I prayed for him. I wrote my dreams of him in a notebook and one day when I was just barely seventeen God pointed him out and said, "This one." Yeah. Sometimes you live a fairy tale in real life. I am a very blessed and content and most of the time happy wife.

But we didn't live happily ever after.

We're still married. We still love each other. We are the best of friends in the history of friendship and he still makes my heart flutter like a swarm of hummingbirds after sweet nectar.

But Happily EVER?.
 NO.

We've been married for almost 14 years now and some of those years have been the LONELIEST of my life.

"Say what?"

Marriage involves two very imperfect people. These people choose EVERY day to love their spouse, to respect them, to honor them. ESPECIALLY when they don't deserve it. That's what makes a marriage a lasting one. Every day decisions to do the hard things. Let's see Disney make a movie about that one. ;)

No person is capable of meeting ALL of the needs of another. We are simply too imperfect. No matter how hard he tries, my husband is not capable of romancing me and loving me the way that I want and need to be loved. I am NOT capable of fulfilling all of his needs. The best that we can do is try. It's fun to try sometimes ;) but sometimes it's a grueling process and we end up feeling used or neglected. Sometimes marriage is HARD, harder than we ever expected. Harder than we are told because our society is all about GETTING married and they really don't care about STAYING married...but that's another post. ;)



But don't let me take away your soul's longing for romance, for dreaming, for that empty place to be filled. God created your soul to long for, to crave, and to desire Him. That lonely empty feeling will only leave when you put your complete faith and trust in your TRUE soul mate and stop trying to fill that space with ANYTHING OR ANYONE else.

The Bible is FULL of references of finding your soulmate, longing for His love and His protection.  

Psalm 84:1
How lovely is your dwelling place,
    Lord Almighty!
² My soul yearns, even faints,
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
    for the living God.


For your Maker is your bridegroom,
    his name, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel,
    known as God of the whole earth.
(From Isaiah 54 in The Message) 

Isaiah 61:10 NIV
I delight greatly in the Lord;
    my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. 





 As a woman, I want to be pursued. I want to be desired for who I am, not what I look like or what skills I possess. I want that white knight in shining armor to come and save me. And you know what? He did.

John 3:16

The Message (MSG)

^16-18 “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.


He loves me for who I am, in spite of my shortcomings and my failures. He rescues me DAILY from a life that could enslave me. He inspired men to write a book full of love letters JUST FOR ME and for you. He knows every single detail about me and who I am and He still loves me unconditionally. He was willing to die for me, even if I was the only person on earth. I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is MINE. He is my soul mate. He completes us in ways that no earthling can because He created us for one purpose: to love Him.